The Week in Review..

Well, as I said, I am not the best at blogging.  I guess you would say I am more of a hit or miss blogger.  The past week was pretty normal, if there is such a thing as normal.  We had all the usual activities, school, church, small groups, tai kwon do, piano, golf and band.  We ended the week with two birthday parties.  One involved go cart riding and the other was Jacey's which involved me baking and creating a Dora princess castle cake.  Following that party, I came down  with some sort of 24 hour bug that put me down for a few.  Thankfully, it was a short one and I am pretty much back to myself.  Monday greeted me with my first test for my current class. I think I did well on it but I will find out tomorrow.  I am praying for an A.  Monday also brought some disturbing news.  One of Randy's closest cousins has reached his final days.  He was in the hospital here and so Randy and I went to visit him, unsure of how we would find him.  Sadly, his condition is rather grave.  It was a blessing that he was awake and alert while we were there.  We were told he had been unconscious for the past couple weeks so finding him away and very responsive was nice.  I am glad Randy had that chance to talk with him and also be assured of his salvation.  We visited with him for a while and prayed for and with him while we were there.  It breaks my heart to see my husband so sad and I wish saying goodbye for now wasn't so hard.  Praise God though, we know we will be together again and that is the greatest comfort in times like this. 
As you can imagine, after leaving the hospital I was very aware of the frailty of life and how quickly it passes by.  After a solemn evening, I was even more ready for my special time with my Lord and Saviour.  I am working my way through the gospels right now and I love the things God reveals as I read His word.  Sometimes what I am being told may not be the easiest thing or may not be exactly what I thought I was looking for, but it is always just what I need.  God just seems to work like that and I am so glad He knows what is best for me at all times, even if I don't.  Last night was one of those nights.  I was reading Matthew Chapter 10 and verses 37 - 39 stood out to me. "Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me, is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me, is not worthy of me; and anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me.  Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it."  Now I have heard these verses before but this time my attention was drawn to them and I spent some time meditating on that passage.  I am the first to admit I like to have control, especially when my family is involved.  I always say that I know God is in control or I pray for God's protection and guidance but it hit me that I don't let go and let God do His thing for lack of better words.  The more I thought about this, I began to realize that I was putting my husband and kids and in turn, myself, ahead of God.  I was not trusting God fully with the ones I love.  I for whatever reason have been determined that I could somehow do a better job of taking care of, protecting, guiding my family and because of this was not keeping God as number one.  I have been holding my family above God and I need to change that.  While this may sound like a self bashing realization, I didn't feel like it was that at all.  In fact, it was more like the light bulb came on.  God promises that when we give (lose) our lives over to Him, completely, we will then  find and  fully experience the life He has for us.  How I desire to lose my life for God so that I may find life and live it abundantly as He has planned for me.